Does Anyone Have Problems With Their Loved One With Parkinson's Not Believing Them?
My mom will ask me questions, like what time is it, what day and time is her doctor's appt, etc. When I give her the answer, she more often than not, does not believe what I tell her. I end up getting upset because she doesn't believe me, then she accuses me of being "too sensitive" or she says, "Ok I am stupid, I am always wrong, you are always right" or "why are you always right and I am always wrong". This always ends up in a long confrontation... I know that it should not bother me, but… read more
Thanks so much, I wake up every day and tell myself this is a "new day", try not to engage in conflicts. Then the simplest comments or conversation end up being so difficult.....Really, I just end up constantly thinking that I will just have to be thought of as the "bad guy", even though I know that I am just trying to help my Mom...
Thanks so much for all of your responses...It really helps. Yes, I know that my Mom is definitely having a problem with role reversal. I do the dishes, and she really thinks I should not even be doing that for her, and I will tell her that my sister and I always had to do the dishes when we were kids, and there were five of us in the family! So now, I am only doing dishes for two people. Thanks again for your suggestions, I will try those also! Have a wonderful day!
I tried to convince husband that we did not go to Dallas while we were in the Neuro Dr's office resulting in the same situation. The Dr told me not to try to convince him of anything. He said I am not dealing with his old brain, but a brand new one that has no reasoning power. He said for me to learn how to deflect, change the subject away from what ever is on his mind that you must answer. Just don't. That is really hard for me because I was raised to answer directly or suffer the consequences. So to try to answer in a way that is not a direct response to what was asked or to answer with a question is changing my life to be evasive. I just don't know how, and am not that quick on my feet to think of some way to do that. But for self preservation I'm sure trying. It does save feelings and hurt.
Amen
I'm pretty sure you mom's annoyance is with herself and because she love you so much, you get the brunt of that anger, sadness and felling like you have lost yourself because its so hard to accept that this disease steals so many little things from us with no choice or warning. I know it is easier said than done but try to be patient with her. I'm sure she is really hating the way things are going right now and you are the last one she wants to hurt or make angry. Her reaction is not personal or intentional. My daughter and I are now able to laugh about these interactions but only because I have finally accepted that I have PD and I've decided not to spend a minute arguing with the person I love most in the world, my daughter.
Good luck,
Maria
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